| Well.. first off! PURDUE WAS AMAZING! i went there today and i had bunches of fun! then i came home.. where all the good times that i had were flooded with horrible thoughts and feelings.... I went to the volleyball game and i was talking to melanie who does all of this scholarship and college crap.. and what am i doing?.. sitting at home on my butt doing nothing! To be honest its like i am expecting for this whole thing just to happen and me not having to do anything! Im so sick of this... then Mel was talking about how i should go to IUB because i want to double major.. and one of the majors is vocal performance... which they dont have at purdue.. or else i would go there. Well..i thought about going to IUB and i was really excited about it for like 2.5 seconds and then she kept talking about how they only let 7,000 in each year and that ppl have already sent in 5,000 apps and its just like she built me up just to tear me down! and i know she didnt mean to... but.. IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO GET IN THESE SCHOOLS! There is no point in me even trying.. i wish i could skip prom.. because i dont have a date and probably wont find one.. and if it wasnt for my prom dress that i already bought i would just not go.. and then i want to not go to college.. whats the point? i could just become a hobo in france and my mother would still love me.. and if she didnt then i wouldnt care.. because i would be happy... im sure im just being this depressed retard who will get over these feelings soon.. but for now.. i just wish i wasnt alive to have to make these choices.. I wish......... i was someone else..... |
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|  I dont know what to say... i just knew life wouldnt stay perfect for long |
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| Its been a while.. but i am here to finally update! Institute was amazing.. and so was the mission trip i went on! I got to go to Florida and i had too much fun! I got to get even closer to people that i already loved.. and i made some amazing new friends that will always be there for me! WHAT MORE COULD I ASK FOR?!?!?!?!?!
-School has started again.. uhh.. thank goodness its my last year.. i couldnt handle all this dumb drama for a lot longer! I had my fights.. said my words.. and realized that all this stuff is petty teenage drama.. it will get me no where in life. So.. i am done with that!
-I basically have my prom dress in the bag! Its a-may-zing and i dont think i could find a more perfect dress! I am so excited.. so far my Senior Prom is looking to be one of the best nights of my life! I love my dress.. hopefully my hair will look good.. i (might) have the most A-MAY-ZING date EVER!!! (Matt I <3 you!) lol.. my life is going good and that tends to make a person feel pretty good!
- Just a basic overview of life since July i guess! Hope i dont bore you too much! I LOVE YOU!! <3<3<3 |
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| INSTITUTE WAS AMAZING!!! Even though i didnt have my phone i had an amazing time! It was like i was in a whole other world! I made new friends and had the time of my life! I realized a lot of thing and found what i was missing! I got closer to my old friends and the new friends i made will last a lifetime! I wouldnt give back that week for anything!!! I am just so overwhelmed by what all happened that i dont think i could ever honestly describe in full detail what happened! Thanks to everyone who became my friends and who helped me all week!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!! I hope that someday everyone can experience the feeling of true happiness that i do right now! I have found who God really is and that is something that i never want to give up! |
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| So im going to institute (church camp) next week and i wont have my phone!!!!AHHHHHH!!! So if ya wanna talk to me better call me now! <3 |
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